As a teenager I remember how much I was focused in the future. Studying hard, saying no for a lot of fun moments so I would not miss one minute from being with my books taking in as much as I could, so I could get in at the great University and make everybody proud.
I remember how much I wanted to be like some girl in my class, who looked like she got all figured out. I wanted to have her brain, her body, her life…There wasn’t much that I liked about me. But I had a focus, study to get into college. I did. I got in.
The expectation were high, my efforts, the money spend till that moment, were all big for me to turn back. I did not know if law was what I really wanted. Maybe I didn’t have much option (at least that was what I thought) In my head I wasn’t good enough to become a singer or an actress, and also I didn’t have the people to support me on that. I didn’t even know who I was yet, what I wanted, what was my purpose.
Time passed, my anxiety grew and grew till I was eating boxes and packages of cookies in minutes, so I could have a moment of pleasure between the hard studying of something that I saw no reason for…minutes later I would regret, feel discussed with myself, go to the bathroom and vomit. I did that for quite some time, maybe years, punishing myself for being so weak, so scared, so afraid, I basically injured not just my vocal chords but a little of my soul.
I graduated from law school. Now the expectation to became someone was even more blowed up. So I ran, something called for me to come to America. I was finally able to be myself, do what I wanted to do, experience, discover, explore, take time to enjoy freedom, and figure out who I was and my purpose.
I found Yoga, took some time to start to enjoy it, but when I did, it helped me in so many aspects of my like…So God spoke to me, and said, go, help people through this. Even if you think you are not good enough. I studied Yoga for 1 year, got certified and started to teach. My heart was always humble and honestly ready to help.
After 5 years teaching, today after my class I got in my car put my head down and tears rolled down my face. Was God speaking to me again. He said: “I told you”.
At the end of my class, this lovely, beautiful, gentle, 15 year old, that has been coming to my classes for over a year, came to give me a hug with her eyes watery. She said: “Thank you, for all that you did for me. I am not the same person that I was when I walked in this class.” then I said: You were always this person, you just didn’t know, you had too much blocking your own view.
For a 15 year old passed through all that she has, she was brave to keep coming back, and I am so thankful because when I decided to go through this journey I asked God, please let me help one teenager, let my words touch their heart, so they can see who they truly are. It is so had being a teenager, trying to fit in, trying to figure out, decide, mature, all the expectations, all the confusion, all the doubts.
When I sat in my car I realized that she helped me more than I helped her. Her words, her tears were God’s answer to my purpose.
When you feel it, do not forget to say it. Sometimes you can magnify somebody’s purpose.