How many times a day you doubt or judge yourself as a parent?, not just by the things you do, but specially the things your kids do? Sometimes you don’t believe in your eyes, and usually those times you get mad at them because of your mixed feelings : WHAT DID I DO WRONG? WHAT DID I MISS? WASNT I THERE ENOUGH? IS THAT GENETIC? WAS THAT SCHOOL A GOOD OPTION? SHOULD I HAVE HOMESCHOOLED? SHOULD I NOT HAVE HOMESCHOOLED? WAS I TOO PROTECTIVE? TOO OPEN? TOO STRICT? DID I YELL TO MUCH? DIDNT I YELL ENOUGH? DID I GIVE ENOUGH LIMITS? and the questions go on and on and on …
The truth is they are different human beings, they have a lot of us, but also a lot of differences too. They might learn in different ways. Even if we fight ourselves to do everything to the opposite as our parents did. We still, from the gut react in situations just the way our parents did. Believe me, they were and maybe still doubt what they did or said. So you are not alone, we try to aim for perfection, but as we know that is an illusion and it does not exist. You are going to teach your kids your view of what is good and bad, with your fears, your doubts, your believes, even your insanity. In the end all will be fine, because whatever you did and do, is with all the love in the world. Doesn’t matter what the internet, your friends or even your family say.
In the end you will be YOU, trying to be the best YOU that YOU can be for your children. Putting your kids earlier to bed because you have a headache or you had a bad day at work; having them staying in a daycare that does not smell that good, but has a woman with a sweet and gentle smile that charges you the amount you can afford. Not having time to sit down and do homework with your child because you need to cook, clean and take care of everybody else; does not make you a bad parent, will not make your kids turn to be bad people. Give them your heart, and all the things you have learned, the things that you are learning, through your mistakes and falls, and in the mist of all of that, take your time to see them, how they are, not how you expect them to be. Give your love, and your way of doing that may be completely different than your parents, or your neighbors. Be yourself, to them and to you, so they can find who they are without the clouds of expectations.